The Blog of melody08

It's one of those nights. One of those nights where I really want his touch. Actually, to be honest, not even his touch in particular. Just a man's touch. There's nothing that can substitute the touch of a man's hand, gentle in the beginning but growing more rough. Aggressive. That's what I want.

I went without a man's touch for so long. Well over a year without so much as a kiss. I guess I learned to deal with it after a while. Then I met someone. Even though we were on very different experience levels with me having gone all the way and him not even kissing anyone yet, I quickly caught him up. The physical part of the relationship is the polar opposite of my last.

In my last physical relationship, I was the one with zero experience (never having kissed anyone) and he was the one who had gone all the way. He was aggressive, and quite a good teacher. It was perfect for my first physical relationship.

So now in this one it's like role reversal. It's really interesting because I feel like I have more control. I can mold him and teach him to be however I like. Except the sex part. He's waiting til marriage, and I'm not even thinking about marriage, so we're probably never gonna have sex with each other. But we can do other things, which is good.

Ok, well he's not really good at... anything. I can't really blame him cause he had zero experience before me, but I was hoping after a while he would get into it and get better, but no. He can't even kiss well! It makes me sad. Next time I see him I have got to give him friendly tips. Otherwise I can't do it anymore. I'm not even kidding. When he kisses me, it's just like he's eating my face. Everytime! If he ever breaks away for a second there's slobber all over my mouth and chin area. UGH! AND, he's loud. I didn't know you could kiss so loudly, but you can. We were in a movie theatre and he was kissing my neck and I was worried the people next to us were gonna get annoyed cause he's so loud! It's like a bit wet SMACK noise. There are other issues with his lack of kissing skills, but I'm gonna stop there.

And when he tries to do anything else? He doesn't have much confidence it seems. Not as much as I like anyway. He's fine going straight to third base, but it almost seems like boobs scare him or something. I dunno. And when he does go to third base, I'm pretty sure he injures me. I didn't even really realise it until the next day once, but it just hurt to walk around. And not in a good way. I really do need to school this boy. And I'm looking forward to it. I could even put on my little school girl outfit and 'tutor' him. ;)

But back to the original point. Even with his lack of skills, I want the touch. I want the hands tracing circles on my lower back. I want the arms around me. I want to snuggle my face into the chest. I want the 5 o'clock shadow face kissing me all over. I want it!

I feel like after I went all that time with nothing, and then had almost everything for a couple weeks, and now have nothing again, that I was just teasing myself. Just showing myself, 'Hey look, remember this? Of course not, cause it was much better before, but still! It's something isn't it? You know you've missed it.' I dunno what I'm gonna do. Probably toss and turn all night.